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Eve Ensler, the brains behind the bushes. Twin threats have sent a shiver down the spines of Cleveland's testosterone-spewing male population of late. First, there was the banning of booze at Browns tailgate parties, stripping men of their means of Sunday-morning worship.

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We have detected English as your language preference. To change your preferred language, please choose a language using the dropdown. Hence the username.

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Couriers are postmen that found delivering post altogether too physically and cranially taxing. Perhaps this is why they either don't turn up when required or carry out the most minimal and perfunctory of checks to see if the "valued customer" is in residence before either not even attempting to pick up the items awaiting shipment option A or kicking seven shades of shit out of your fragile goods and then throwing it over your hedge or dumping it in your bins option B. And all because a bleeping, blinking 'personal digital assistant' tells them they have exactly eight minutes to get from Coventry to Carlisle else a printer in the HR department starts running off a P

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I was the only one in my school to complete the Panini sticker album and I prided myself on watching every single live game of the World Cup, despite the fact a lot of the games were on past my bed time and most of them, on reflection, were actually shite. I'm just about old enough to remember when it was acceptable to be lifted over the turn-styles for fifty pence and when witnessing grown men piss down each others legs or throw bananas at black players was commonplace. Also from a young age it was universally apparent that I was shit at football, totally shit, and it took me longer than most other people to figure this out.

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LulzSec has disbanded but not disappeared - the amusing anarchists have found a home under the umbrella of Anonymous. We may be not quite as funny, but we can assure you: we sail in the same spirit. Only a name was abandoned for the greater glory.

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